Trust…easy to lose and hard to regain. Trust is particularly difficult to recapture when you lose it at an early age. Trust in a parent, process or principle during the developmental years can leave one scrambling when trying to be a good, strong, moral “grown up.”



I think I am grown. Seriously. I have been an old lady since I was about three years old. I am wise beyond my years when it comes to certain issues, dumb as dirt on others. Relationships? Dumb as dirt. Spiritual principles? Sharp as a Ginsu knife. One would think that love and spirituality would go hand-in-hand. What you don’t realize is that fear creates unimaginably stupid talents. I have the talent to separate what should be clearly connected and make them seem like they are polar opposites. How you may ask? Simple…I don’t trust “The Process.” I don’t trust the people who are going through the process. I don’t trust…well, you get the picture.



Albeit, I am slowly trying to re-acquaint myself with trust. Not easy and not fun. As an Artist, I believe that everything happens for a reason, corny but true. However, that is in immediate conflict with my analytical side that collects the data from the past and finds an appropriate equation and sums up what the probability of X event happening may be.



The funny thing is I suck at Math but I did well in Statistics. Thus, my equation is likely wrong, but call it dumb luck, the probability that I get the answer right is pretty high.



Sometimes.



So, I want to give this trust thing a try. Of course that means I have to trust myself. But remember, depending on the situation—dumb as dirt or sharp and on point. Let’s see which side will be the victor.



Peace & Blessings.